The Chatter

We wait ….wait….wait…for so many things, it seems in our lives.  The waiting involves a full spectrum from horrendous to ordinary to extraordinary events and things.

With much patience, I have only been waiting for a few things. I have been waiting for my daughter’s baby shower, the end of chemotherapy, my PET scan, for the results, and the cancer to be gone.  I have even been waiting for my grandchild to be born.  But most of all, I am waiting to be the old me so I can wait for only regular everyday things.

Well, my last chemo had come and gone.  Yeah!   I had my PET scan this past Wednesday.  Ouch my arm!   The baby shower was yesterday and if I may say so, went very well.  I had lots of fun after my nervousness went away. 

I had my doctor’s follow up appointment on Friday afternoon.   After the scan I waited two whole days which felt like 2 whole weeks until this visit.   Then, in the waiting room, we waited 30 minutes.  This seemed like at least two hours long.   I just wanted to hear some healthy words and be gone.

Well, in we went and waited some more.  There was an emergency.  I totally understand because I have been that an emergency more than once, however, I needed to hear something right then….didn’t anyone know that?

Well, my doctor came in and I knew the news was not going to be what I was hoping for.  I know her too well now.   I was thinking I should leave or maybe it was just one of my crazy dreams going on.  No reality struck again! 

Good news……………my large tumor is dead.  What is left did not take any dye in.  I should have been excited but I knew I was waiting for something more.   It came.

Bad news…..there is another spot that showed up right near the old tumor.  They are not sure if it is part of it, or a new growth near my bowels.  Hopefully it is not inside but on the outside.  (Sorry if this is too much info.)  Then I waited to hear what would be next step as I half listened to all her medical words until that part.

Worst case scenario…..I will need surgery which is usually unconventional in the case of Lymphoma.  No more chemo and radiation!

Best scenario…..it is nothing.

So I wait again.  She is going to visit the radiologist and review the results and pictures of the scan together.  She does not want to just rely on a paper from him.  (I love my doctor!)  She will call me this week.

Now I wait for her call and the next PET scan scheduled  in 4 weeks to see if it is or isn’t something.

We wait…wait…wait….for so many things.   I am waiting for the word remission, the cries of a newborn and for my new old self to emerge.
What are you waiting for?

…Always Sunni