The Chatter

Well, I’m still alive. Still in my debt cage. And having to deal with wedding costs.

No, NOT mine.

I’m at that point in my life where many of my friends are getting married, and with the wedding comes the showers and the lingerie parties and the late nights of wedding crafts and a half dozen other occasions that merit a)eating out, b)buying a present or c)BOTH.

 What’s a girl to do?

I’m finally beginning to wise up a bit and have been offering my crafting skills as a present. While this didn’t excuse me from the lingerie shower (I sew quilts, not lacey unmentionables!) it has gone a long way in regards to the bridal shower and wedding. Unfortunately, it did involved handsewing about 100 bows and trying to hem 3 flowergirl dresses, but it’ll all work out. Last year, for the wedding of one of my best friends I made her jewelry set as a gift and that worked out wonderfully as well. Again, craftiness didn’t save me from the lingerie expenditure, but it still helped a ton! (hmmm … maybe I SHOULD learn to sew those lacey unmentionables…..)

It’s definitely hard though - you see your friends going through this amazing, celebratory time and you want to be able to participate to the fullest and not have your friends think you’re a total cheapskate (though honestly, if they’re really your friends they should understand that you have some bugetary limitations and just be glad to have you there to share in their milestone - but we know that isn’t always the case!) For someone like me who really enjoys shopping and loves giving presents, it can be a real challenge to restrain oneself when pouring through the wedding registry - though admittedly, it wasn’t hard to say no to the $100+ place setting … but even putting together a gift of the smaller priced items can really add up quickly.

Let’s not even talk about what to wear!

 Actually, yes - let’s talk about what to wear. For the wedding I have on Saturday, I felt immense pressure to try to find a new dress. Which led to the idea that I would need new shoes. Of course, you have to find a bag to match the shoes and then you realize that none of your jewelry will work either. What started out innocently enough as a $20 dress bargain quickly began to snowball into a total disaster. Thankfully, I only got as far as the dress, but now I’m not even wearing that one anyways - I’m wearing something that I already had! Let this be a lesson girls - consult your own closet and your friends first. At least I stopped the snowball before it became an avalanche …. though those leopard pumps would have been perfect….

So …. next time you’re faced with the daunting task of preparing for and participating in a wedding while also being fiscally responsible - STOP! Take a step back and really evaluate the situation. If you are going to buy a present, write down how many gift-giving occasions you will be faced with and set a total budget. If you will have the trifecta: bridal shower, lingerie party AND wedding - get creative! Look over the registry and see what, if anything fits in to your budget. From there, reflect on your own talents and see what you may be able to offer the bride - this will save you money, will likely save the bride money (and stress) and you’ll probably even have fun doing it. Talk to your other friends and go in together on a present. Look into the dark (and sometimes scary) depths of your closet - or raid your friends’ closets! Don’t succumb to all of the financial pressures that your friends’ wedding with throw at you.

At the end of the day, you get to celebrate a great life event with your friends - be smart about it and you can enjoy your day and not feel guilty when faced with your credit card statement afterwards!

Picking away at the lock,

Abby