The Chatter

I am sure there are others out there like me…..afraid of needles……..well actually I’m petrified.  Needles mean giving blood, getting shots and biopsies/tests. I don’t know why or how my problem came about. It is what it is.  I have been getting much better about my fear since I have been a cancer fighter now for a few months.  I have certainly been poked (not all pleasant) more since this has all started than I have been in all my life.  Okay, I have been around awhile.  Today though takes the cake…………I was a human pin cushion!  To start off, I did not want to go to chemo today.  I dreaded the fact that I would be getting sick again, even though the chemo is working.  My hubby was great about getting me out the door as I dragged my feet and off to our appointment for 7:30am.  Blood counts are first.  One poke!  She is really good so it isn’t too bad.  Next was my doctor’s appointment which went really well….just worried about my red and white counts. Those counts equal……..two extra shots.   Finally, it was chemo time.  Since my lovely port refuses work, the nurses have to use my arm or hand.  Sadly, the awesome nurse who usually takes care of me was  stationed elsewhere.  My nurse, for the day, tried one vein and said, “oh,no!  I have to try again.”  Poke two! Meanwhile, my darling hubby was holding my hand.  I bit my lip as my face was getting red and trying not to cry.   Then after the second try she went for help.  Poke three!  The next nurse tried three times in all.  It was so painful as she played with my veins.  I couldn’t hold back my tears.  They poured down my face.  I still bit my lip so I would not cry aloud.  Imagine a grown woman crying with other people around.  Poke four……five…….six.    I thought after three strikes ………..you are out……..and I should have beem allowed to go home.   No, they went for the nurse that usually helps me.  I ran to the bathroom for a time out.  It was the only place for privacy.  I cried for a few…..took a several  deep breaths and pulled myself together as best as I could.  My usual nurse said sorry as she explained that she had to go to a side low vein.  It hurt but she got it!   Poke seven!   Finally, I get to start my chemo treatment.   Now the big joke was if I would have leaks but I did not see the humor in that as I had gauze and tape eveywhere.   It was around 4:20 pm., as the last IV bag was just about done.  I had my hubby pack up my things so we could run for the door.  No so fast…..guess what I forgot?  I forgot that I had one shot still to get today.  Ouch!  Poke number eight!     Well, the good news is I am home now and survived  the long day.  Bad news……I get to go back tomorrow for the other shot.    But that will be only poke number one for the new day.