Life Online

I have to rat myself out today for something totally idiotic.

Background–I’m running the Race for the Cure this Saturday. I’m not a runner, but I try to run this every year to push myself. I’ve been totally psyching myself out about it this year for some reason. Today I need to run a full 3 miles outside. No excuses. Must do 3 miles. I can’t find my ipod holder and ear things. I also know that it is going to be chilly on Saturday. So I think I need something for my ears.

Today I decide to go to our local running store, which I have never been to before. I’m getting nervous as I approach the door. And as I walk in, I almost have a panic attach. I make a beeline for what looks like it might be what I need. When the helpful worker approaches me, I start babbling like a kid on her first day. “I am running the race on saturday and I think it might be cold and I can’t find my ipod holder and I’m nervous about the race and will my ears get cold? and I need a holder for my arm and I haven’t run outside since the race last year and I wish that I didn’t slack off every year between races because then I wouldn’t be so nervous and would be in better shape but every year I do the same thing but not this year…..”

You get my drift. She tried to talk me down and I bought an ipod holder and ear covers. But as I drove away, I realized that I didn’t even buy the earphones! So I headed to Target and called my best friend to tell her what a moron I was. Too bad the story doesn’t end there. When I got into Target, I realized that I bought the wrong holder. I don’t have a nano!! So I had to buy a new holder at Target and my husband is going to have to return the other one. I don’t think I can ever step foot in a running store again!!

Why did I freak out? I don’t know? I guess I felt inadequate. I felt like I didn’t belong there and everyone in there was looking at me thinking “surely that fat girl don’t think she can run??” I mean, they were perfectly nice to me. But I definitely felt out of place, kind of scared, obviously nervous. They’re probably having a good laugh over it as we speak!