The Busy Life of a Single Mom

I’ve been out of town for THREE nights, and it killed me.  I couldn’t stand it. When I called home yesterday, I actually teared up and I could hear the tears in Cameron’s voice on the phone so I kept trying to keep my voice upbeat.

So is it this way with all parents? Or is it harder because of it being just the two of us for so long?  I had spent two nights away from her at rare times, but I can’t think of a time when I spent more than two. I can’t remember tearing up over our time apart though in a long time.

When she was first born, my dad was resolved to keep her every Friday night as he said even though I might not have realized it, I needed the break.  I can remember that first Friday like it was yesterday. Cameron was one week and one day old and off she went with her Papaw and home I stayed and cried all night!  Slowly I did come to appreciate and use that time until Cameron started having “Mommy withdrawal” because I was working and going to school full time. One night Cameron cried and cried at her Papaws and after that, Daddy didn’t keep her until she was big enough to ask. He said it broke his heart to see her cry…..

The next set of tears of separation came when she started daycare at the age of three.  When I went to leave her there, she cried so I cried the entire way to work. And then a couple times during the day. I felt so guilty for abandoning my baby to strangers, but when I went to pick her up, the first words out of her mouth were “Can I come back?”  I wanted to scream!  I had been miserable all day long, and she wanted to come back? We continued this routine for 2 or 3 more drop offs before I decided she was ok, and I didn’t need to cry.  It wasn’t too long until she wasn’t crying at drop off anymore.

And this past few days I think was number 3…Yep…the third instance of crying because my baby girl and I had to spend time apart. I had a teacher’s conference in Austin the last few days and 3 days away was way too many for me, and I’m so happy to be home. I got home about 7 so we rushed in the pool before dark, and since coming in we’ve had a fun supper of Mickey pizza and french fries and played Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Yahtzee and Uno Spin. Now we’re going to watch some of the shows and movies we had set up to record on the DVR whiel I was gone.

Again…I’m not sure if this is typical in all homes or if it is harder because we’ve been on our own for so many years, but I know Cameron actually missed me this time too (unlike at day care and those first visits to my dad’s) becaues she’s not moved more than about 2 breaths from me all night.  It’s so nice to feel loved and missed!