How To Re-establish Your Personal Security After a Breakup

by +Tricia on August 1, 2011

After a divorce or breakup, one of the first emotions you may feel is a loss of personal security; your ex has your house key, a spare key to your car or even the code to your garage door. Regardless of how amicable the breakup was (or wasn’t), one of the first things you need to do is reclaim your personal security.

Here’s how:

Demand the Duplicates

Demand that your ex return the copies of your keys. By demanding the duplicates back, you will have re-established a sense of control for yourself.

However, it’s important to be cautious and consider that your ex has made other duplicates. Unfortunately, even if a key says “Do Not Duplicate” on it, some unscrupulous locksmiths will still duplicate it. In fact, it has been estimated that unauthorized key duplications account for as much as 40% of unexplained illegal entries.

By demanding the duplicates back, and letting your ex know that he or she is not welcomed, you will have gotten the message through.

Change the Locks

If the reason for your breakup was a dangerous one, you might want to consider upgrading your home security system. The first step in doing this is to change the locks to your house and car.

Any locksmith can replace your house locks. You can also check with your auto dealer for the cost of new lock cylinders. In addition, if you have a remote attached to your key, your car dealership can order you a new one for around $100.

When changing the locks to your home, don’t forget to change the garage door code as well. In the same respect, don’t forget to move the “hide-a-key” to a different location – or get a new one all together.

Changing the locks to your home will help you reclaim your personal security and also give you a better peace of mind.

Establish Boundaries

Changing the locks and receiving the duplicate keys will protect your personal properties. However, you’ll also have to take action when it comes to re-establishing your personal boundaries.

Charlotte Moore, 53 from Connecticut, realized that after 25 years of marriage, her ex still didn’t understand her needs.

“If I was out of the house while he was picking up the kids, he would help himself to my food and TV while the kids were getting their stuff together,” she explains. “In one particular instance, I was on a trip with one of the kids, and he came over to pick up the other one and arrived with his laundry!”

It was then that Charlotte realized she had to create healthy boundary lines.

“I let him know that I felt he was stepping on my toes and needed to back off. I also made a few rules like: when picking up the kids, wait outside for them, and don’t ever ask them for a house key.”

Exes who are contributing to child support or spousal maintenance may feel that they are entitled to your home, food or facilities. However, unless you say so, they are most certainly not. This is why it is important to draw a clear line, so you can maintain a sense of personal security – at a time when you need it the most.

About the author: SJ enjoys writing about cutting-edge technology, particularly in the security industry. Home alarm systems, access control security systems and surveillance systems are just a few of the security products she’s written reviews on.

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